BRUTALITY

Female circumcision is still heavily practised in Egypt. Why?

FOR WHO'S BENEFIT?

GARAGE RESURGENCE?

There's a new two-step anthem dominating airwaves and bars across London at the moment. It's T2 ft. JODIE and it's titled 'HEARTBROKEN'

The drum programming just brings back sweet memories of the likes of MJ Cole's 'Crazy Love' and Sweet Female Attitude's 'Flowers'

If you haven't heard it, definiately check it out and let us know if you derived the same warm feeling.

www.bebo.com/FlashBox.jsp?FlashBoxId=4930952451&FlashViewType=TV - Similar pages

ADVERT OF THE MONTH: DAIRY MILK

This is simply brilliant. It features a gorilla playing the drums to Phil Collins' classic - 'In the air tonight'

We can't think of a better way to sell chocolates. PERFECTTO!

Enjoy - www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy52yueBX_s

REHAB: THE REMIX

Have you heard the new Amy Winehouse's Rehab Remix?

It's been re-worked by Katy Brand and it's scorching HOT!

You must hear it, click here - http://www.heatworld.com/article.aspx?articleid=2627&title=Watch

CAN'T KNOCK THE HUSTLE

FER-GI-LIOUS KEEPS US ENTERTAINED ALL THE TIME AND WE LOVE HER FOR IT. SHE'S THE BEST MEDIOCRE ARTIST WE HAVE RIGHT NOW AND WE LOVE HER FOR IT!

BRAVO!

WE ARE TIRED OF CRAZY B*****!

What the hell is up with Foxy 'Boogie' Brown? Is she trying to be Naomi? She's in jail as we speak for assaulting an assistant with her blackberry. Few days ago, she was moved into a special section in the prison away from inmates after she got into a brawl with a number of jailbirds.

Since when was acting crazy cool? Since when did going to jail become the norm for female rappers? They might as well grow penises at this stage as this behaviour is simply out-of-this-world and quite frankly pathetic.

What's next, Lil' mama in rehab? Ooooooh....we're going to love that, no more my lipgloss is poppin' crap!

IT DOESN'T GET HOTTER THAN THIS...........

IT MUST BE A NUISSANCE BEING THIS BEAUTIFUL!

ROLE MODEL: VICKY POLLARD

No but yeah but yeah but yeah no but yeah no but yeah....whatever!

In the town of Darkly Noone resides Vicky Pollard, an incomprehensible girl and the nemesis of many a teacher and social worker. Often heard rambling about "this fing wot you know nuffin about", she stubs out her fags, orders snakebite and pretty much denies ever doing anything wrong. A strange British breed indeed.

Vicky Pollard: Who the Hollyoaks omnibus is that?

Vicky's gang member #1: Chantelle Baker’s gang.

Vicky Pollard: Who or sumthin or nuffin?

Vicky's gang member #2: They live down St.Pauls.

Vicky Pollard: No, but, yeh, but, no, but,, what are they doin' on our patch or sumthin' or nuffin' or sorta like thing coz they is well gonna get beat-ins!

Vicky's gang member #3: Cool it Vicky, they're well hard.

Vicky's gang member #1: Yeerh, they give the Rettinen Sisters a bog wash.

Vicky Pollard: They don't scare me. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm just Vicky Pollard from round the corner from the block. V to the P to the icky to the ollard. Ohmigod. This is well hectic!

Vicky Pollard: Hey you, what you doin' on our patch, you total bunch of mingin' dog bitches! [a dancing match follows, which is ended when Vicky boldly steps up to one of the gang members and and gives her a nipple-cripple]

Vicky Pollard: We is well the best dancers.

WATCH:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDOpVA5vQ8I

BLEEDING WITH JOY FOR LEONA!

LEONA LEWIS.


WE ARE SPEECHLESS ON HOW FANTASTIC THIS SINGLE IS. SIMON COWELL 'NAILED' IT!

KINDLY WATCH THIS STUNNING VIDEO:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF84pIhP5UM

NEVERLAND.....................LITERALLY!

Micheal Jackson now leaves in what is essentially another house in Las Vegas. This depressing piece of information breaks our hearts as we try to make sense on how this icon can go from living in 'Neverland' to another middle class home in Las Vegas.

If you like boys why does it have to be young ones? We would have supported you if you'd come out years ago.

Look what jerking-off young boys reduces a man to. Akon needs to sing about this shizzle!

PR MAN OF THE CENTURY: PART II

She really wants to be First Lady!

Truthfully!

A better gown next time perhaps.

A SIMPLE PRESIDENT!

Here's an extract from CNN's Inside Africa, Anchor Femi Oke is interviewing Nigerian's President, Umaru Musa Yar'adua during the recently concluded UN Summit held in New York.

OKE: How did that feel, to stand in front of the United Nations as president of Nigeria?

YAR'ADUA: I felt a burden of responsibility representing my country before the assemblage of world body, where issues of global concern, indeed concerning and impacting at times on the lives of all Nigerians are decided.

OKE: If you review the week, what are the achievements you feel you achieved this week?

YAR'ADUA: What do we have achieved? What I feel I have achieved, really, is sending a message of hope and confidence, you know, to the international community about Nigeria. And through my bilaterals and meetings with investors and various nations that are interested in investment, you know, I have managed to convince and win the hearts of investors. And in fact, I have managed a few agreements (inaudible).

OKE: How do you raise your profile so people know you as president of Nigeria and know your style? How do you raise that profile?

YAR'ADUA: OK, by interacting with people, you know, meet with them. Reaching out, explaining, you know, my vision for my country and my vision for the role Nigeria is to play.

OKE: Tell me five things about you, Mr. President, that the world does not know.

YAR'ADUA: I am (inaudible). I am simple. A servant leader. I am committed to the development of humanity, and I love my country.

Ehhhhhhhhh....I can see why Donald Duke was not allowed to contest during the elections. He clearly was an unfit candidate.

5 GOLDEN STARS: MATTAFIX

Our boys are about to drop a new album. We are very excited indeed.

The new album is titled 'RHYTHMS & HYMNS' and out on November 12th. Their new single 'Living Darfur' is awe-inspiring and testament to why we love intelligent songwriters.

We are so sick of Mr. Rubber lips Ne-yo hugging up the charts with his cliche-pinky songwriting skills. These are the people worthy of recognition.

Share the journey with us with their new promotional video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJtvNHPWUO8

Enjoy!

GO AWAY AND STAY AWAY!

We are so bored of J-Ho! Go and crawl and stay in a hole for ever. You ain't "doing anything well". You're mediocre and desperate to stay relevant. We don't care if you are pregnant, it is all a yawn! Focus on keeping your man, he's obviously the only person that seems to give a hoot about you or what you're doing.

Stay as far away from our TV screens as possible!

TO LEWIS HAMILTON

Our hearts go out to Lewis Hamilton who failed to win the Formula One drivers' championship in Brazil. The world is quick to forget the chap is only 22 years of age. Give him a break! We also strongly disagree with the McLaren's appeal over the stewards' decision not to impose sanctions on two rival teams investigated for breaches of technical regulations. If Lewis should win, it shouldn't be by default or scandal. A thorough win is what a true champion deserves!

At Rennaissance Man, we dedicate these wise words by Tupac Shakur to Lewis' efforts:

Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier
Ooooo child things are gonna get brighter

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfXwmDGJAB8

3 REASONS WHY WE LOVE: KATE NASH's LYRICS

ALL SONGS ARE TAKEN FROM THE NO.1 'MADE OF BRICKS' ALBUM

1 Why are you being a dickhead for

Stop being a dickhead

Why are you being a dickhead for

You're just fucking up situations

Think you know everything

You really don't know nothing

I wish that you were more intelligent

So you could see that what you are doing

Is so shitty, to me

Extract taken from 'DICKHEAD'

2 And when I saw you

Kissing that girl

My heart it shattered

And my eyes, they watered

And when I tried to speak I stuttered

And my friends were like whatever

You'll find someone better

His eyes were way too close together

And we never even liked him from the start

And now he's with that tart

And I heard she done some really nasty stuff

Down in the park with Michael

He said she's easy

And if your guy's with someone that's sleazy

Then he ain't worth your time

'Cause you deserve a real nice guy

Extract taken from 'WE GET ON'

3 I wish I was your favourite girl

I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world

I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile

I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out

But you always wanna know what I was about

I wish you'd hold my hand

When I was upset

I wish you'd never forget

The look on my face when we first met

Extract taken from 'THE NICEST THING'

Album in Stores NOW!!!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ENIGMA?

We literally have to lose ourselves, so we can love you at the moment!

IT'S ONLY BEEN 6 YEARS - CAN ONE PERSON GO THROUGH THIS MUCH CHANGE?

WILL EMINEM NEED THE TIMBERLAK-ISM?

Justin Timberlake has come a long way from wearing swimming 'fashionable' googles to doing backflips in N'Sync earlier videos to wearing matching outfits with Britney (oh yes! they went there) to acting-a-fool at MTV Award shows trying to 'be cool' in front of artists like Eminem whom once delivered this gruesome assault on Justin's group and the rest of the Pop World -

I'm anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin with instincts to kill N'Sync, don't get me started

These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage

What's this bitch retarded? Gimme back my sixteen dollars

All I see is sissies in magazines smiling

Whatever happened to whylin out and bein violent?

Whatever happened to catchin a good-ol' fashioned passionate ass-whoopin and gettin your shoes coat and your hat tooken?

New Kids on the Block, sucked a lot of dick

Boy/girl groups make me sick

Fast forward to 2007, Justin Timberlake has somehow become a poster boy for edgy sing-a-long R&B hits and more importantly now considered 'cool' by most industry heavyweight from Snoop Doggy Dog to T.I to 50 Cent. I get the feeling Enimem might be kicking himself, clearly he never envisaged Justin's crossover effect amongst his peers and further since 'Slim Shady' has not been inspiring his fans lately, he will have to come back with a new 'strategy' as the world has clearly moved past his diss-acts-on-wax gimmicks and Pop ain't such a dirty word any more.

Which makes us wonder, will Enimem swallow his pride and do a collaboartion with Justin Timberlake?

Eminem is no stranger to contradictions, he performed with Elton John at the 2003 Grammy Awards shows despite his very public and unapologetic homophobic views. The truth is, a collaboration between the two men could be a real audience-pleaser and could potentially go down as one of the greatest duets in the history of popular music.

So, could this be Justin's sweetest revenge? We shall wait and see!

HELP YOURSELF WINO!

On the heels of her recent arrest, I'd like to quote Amy's own lyrics back to her. She inspired many with these sincere words but sadly she seems to have forgotten her very own profound thoughts.

This is a verse from 'Help Yourself' - FRANK album.

I can't help you if you won't help yourself
I can't help you if you won't help yourself
You can only get so much from someone else
I can't help you if you don't help yourself

You might be twenty-five but in my mind
I see you as sixteen years old most the time
And I'm just a child and you're full grown
And no I like nothing I've ever known yeah
I'm nothing like I've ever knew

Cause it's where you're at not where you've been
So what do you expect from me
To hold your head above the sea
And carry you even though you're bigger
Cause don't you know you crush my tiny figure
And anyway we're still so youngAnd this isn't yesterday

I NEED YOU TO STAY UP AMY!

BADGE OF HONOUR: VERSE OF THE DAY

Black Men United - You Will Know

This verse brings joy into my life

When I was a young boy
I had visions of fame
They were wild and they were free
They were blessed with my name
And then I grew older
And I saw what’s to see
That the world is full of pain
And my dreams they left me
And then I got stronger
Inside of the pain
That’s when I picked up the pieces
And I regained my name
And I fought hard, y’all
To call by my place
And right now you could ask me
And it all seems in vain
[Your dreams ain’t easy] Your dreams ain’t easy
[You just stick by your plan] You just stick by your plan
[Go from boys to men] Go from boys to men
[You must act like a man] You gotta act like a man
[When it gets hard, y’all] When it gets hard, y’all
[You just grab what you know] Got what you know
[Stand up tall and don’t you fall] And my background sing
You will know [You will know], yeah...eah...[You will know]
[You will know] You will know, you will know[You will know]


WATCH VIDEO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx48V14NdcQ

WHY AMY WHY?

SAD NEWS -

Amy Winhouse has been arrested in Norway over drug possession.

I'm actually tired at this moment!

DON’T YOU DARE

A word of advise to Owen Wilson, don’t take that woman back. If you attempted suicide over a woman you should never never and we mean (let’s say it together) never take her back, if you managed to survive the ordeal that is.

Rumour has it, Kate Hudson recently split with boyfriend Dax Shepard because “she wanted to spend time together with her son”. WHATEVEEER!

We like Owen Wilson at Rennaissance Man, the man is a living legend and we were all very upset to see a grown man reduced to nothing because of the four-letter word. Our advice to Owen is a) get better, b) get a new haircut, c) shave more often, d) party with Scarlett Johansson (she’s way hotter than kate anyways plus we think she’s single) and e) never let Kate in the same building as you (at least for the first 3 months). Otherwise, she’ll sneak up on you and voila you will find yourself in a ‘SYMPATHY RELATIONSHIP’.

Now, sympathy dating is cool when you’re broke and height-challenged but it’s just plain ridiculous if you’re a Hollywood actor. No way jose!

I’m going to have to quote Uncle Chris again: “Fellas, do you ever catch your woman just looking at you? She’s looking at you cause you ain’t her first choice…”

Nuff said!

PR MAN OF THE CENTURY

Every time Al Gore comes on TV, I just can’t seem to control my urge to chant Go Al, Go Al, Go Al! The man is remarkable. He lost the Presidential election by default, found a global issue to tag himself to, made a movie, won an Oscar and now he’s managed to win The Nobel Peace Prize "for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change".

All hail Al!!

Mr. Gore was one of the first politicians to grasp the seriousness of climate change and to call for a reduction in emissions of carbon dioxide and other greenhouses gases. Sadly, a current survey revealed that a significant segment of Americans though aware that Mr Gore won The Nobel Peace Prize were unclear as to why he actually won it.

The Nobel Peace Prize has sparked controversy throughout its history. The Norwegian Parliament appoints the Peace Prize Committee, but pacifist critics argue that the same Parliament has pursued partisan military aims by ratifying membership in NATO in 1949, by hosting NATO troops, and by leasing ports and territorial waters to US ballistic missile submarines in 1983. However, the Parliament has no say in the award issue. Past winners have included Martin Luther King (1964 laureate), Jimmy Carter (2002 laureate), The 14th Dalai Lama (1989 laureate), and Kofi Annan (2001 laureate) amongst many. On closer inspection, the peace-laureates often have a lifetime's history of working at and promoting humanitarian issues.

We applaud Al Gore for his relentless quest for relevance. This is a man whom was publicily robbed for the U.S presidency seat yet eight years later, he is awarded what is arguably the most prestigious accolade to any man. The man is his own PR Machine and we love him for it.

Memorably, Gore gave a brief speech at this year’s Academy Awards ceremony after the Inconvienent Truth won ‘Documentary Feature’: "My fellow Americans, people all over the world, we need to solve the climate crisis. It's not a political issue; it's a moral issue. We have everything we need to get started, with the possible exception of the will to act.

Go Al! We need a female Al Gore with a Hermes Birkin of course!

DID YOU OWN A PAIR?

I hate to do this but if you were 18 around the mid nineties - this might hurt.

Did you ever own a pair of these? Did you religiously wear this non-stop during the summer, winter and autumn months although they were battered and clearly needed changing? Did you save up to buy a pair to fit in with your respective 'ethic' peer groups? Did soemone ever step on your precious pair and the only thing that crossed your mind was a brutal assault on their face?

If any of this sounds familiar, you are guilty without a chance of parole.

MISS JONES

She's married to Nasiru Oludara. Again, she's married to Nasiru Oludara. Again, she's married to Nasiru Oludara.

Sorry, I just have to constantly remind myself of this fact!

BADGES OF HONOUR: ALBUMS ON ROTATION

UGK's UNDERGROUND KINGS

BAT FOR LASHES's FUR FOR GOLD

NEWTON FAULKNER's HANDS BUILT BY ROBOTS

Go get your copies!!

MUST SEE TV - NOT!

MTV has a new reality show. Yay! It’s titled LIVING ON THE EDGE

Just in case you don’t know MTVONE (whatever that means) don’t actually play any videos these days, its full of reality shows. Hogan Knows Best, Real World Denver, I love New York (my personal favourite, that woman is definitely U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi) and The Hills (Oohhhh, I love those slags – they are DRAMA – they need inspirational sessions with Ms Mary J Blige)

Now, we all know the UK will try on almost any level to rival their ‘close’ allies. The MTV Europe production team spent all summer shooting a bunch of rich Cheshire kids who have just completed sixth form and are getting ready for the BIG U word.

Excited yet! Ooh yes, so I watched as the ultimate MTV junkie – life isn’t the same without knowing the new stupid-blond chick on the block. After 10 minutes, it was clear I was going to hate this show and it’s lead character, Esme. Yes, Esme!

She’s 18, rude, self-obsessed, slightly lumpy and generally vile.

After 2 opening episodes, it was clear these kids JUST AIN'T FUCKED UP ENOUGH; we watched them play tennis, drink lattes and still no drama. I have concluded that English people just can’t do glamorous nor ditsy, that’s for our Americans to do and they do it well. I will watch the next episode, just to see if they get their acts together and I shall keep you all posted. In the meantime, don’t bother to tune in, that’s my job.

Ooh, anorexia could be a good ‘planted’ plot for Esme. Ooh, you disgusting!!

MARIO: MY MAMA LOVES YE-YO!

People,

If you had a parent whom was dependent on a class A-substance would you tell? Better yet, would you announce it to the entire MTV generation? Mario revealed this disastrous PR stunt on an MTV special. My jaw dropped last night as I watched Mr. Let-me-love-you speak so dismissively about his mother's growing addiction. I certainly hope this isn't a stunt to pull attention away from rival, Chris Brown cause we all know he's kicking your ass right now.

BIG SHIT STOPPIN', LITTLE SHIT POPPIN

A letter to T.I

Why oh why didn't you stick to your original prophesy? Why the hell on the eve of a big awards' night will you be found fighting at a strip club? Why will you ask your bodyguard to order your machine guns? And why why why, are you married to short'est' from X-SCAPE?

Unlike your music, a lot of things do not make sense about your journey. If this is a stint to sell records then we ain't laughing as the judge has smacked the smile off our smog faces with a 'no bond' which means we ain't hearing your 'swag' in a minute.

Step up and read some books!


Renaissance Man

BADGE OF HONOUR: VERSE OF THE DAY

Adele - Daydreamer from her upcoming album 19.

"Daydreamer, sittin’ on the seat

Soaking up the sun he is a

Real lover, makin’ up the past and feeling up his girl like he’s never felt her figure before

Her joy (..?)

Looks good when he when he walks, he is the subject of their talk

He would be hard to chase, but good to catch and he could change the world with his hands behind his back,

Oh…

You can find him sittin’ on your doorstep

Waiting for the surprise

It will feel like he’s been there for hours

And you can tell that he’ll be there for life"

BY ANY MEANS NECCESSARY

NOTHING BUT LOVE FOR MADONNA BUT C'MON....

It's probably stale news amongst you music connoisseurs but I can't seem to wrap my head around this groundbreaking deal. As you all know 49-year old Madonna (Icon, Mother, Novelist, Actress,.....) has been the most consistent woman in the Music industry for over 3 decades. She has dazzled, shocked, evolved blah blah blah but does she a $120m deal with Live Nation? She's great but can't the younger talents (Alicia, Beyonce, Kate Nash, KT Turnstall, even Amy,etc.) be given this opportunity?

The question is: Does Madonna really need to be stricking these deals? The 49-year-old pop singer sold about 20 million copies worldwide of her last three studio albums, according to sources. Her last album, "Confessions on a Dance Floor" (2005), sold 1.6 million units in the United States, according to Nielsen SoundScan, and sold 7 million units worldwide. What more do you need at a ripe age of 49. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm going to have to quote Chris Rock to best deal with this issue:

"You can't just whip out a 40 year old titty that's your man's titty. That is your man's titty 40 year old titty your man's titty. 20 year old titty community titty. That's for all to see."

Nuff said!

WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, his name is David Jordan - he wears tight jeans, rocks spiky relaxed-hair, sings with his high-pitched voice and just has a disturbing presence.

Now, everyone knows I'm into my alternative music but I'm frightened that his record company has tried to model his genre on Lenny Kravitz.

The record is on release later this month. Just say NO!

BADGE OF HONOUR - VERSE OF THE DAY

UGK ft. Outkast - International Players' Anthem (I Choose you)

Andre 3000's verse -

"So, I typed a text to a girl I used to see
Sayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna be
And I apologize if this message gets you down
Then I CC'd every girl that I'd see see round town and
I hate to see y'all frown but I'd rather see her smiling
Wetness all around me, true, but I'm no islandPeninsula maybe, makes no sense I know, crazy
Give up all this pussy cat thats in my lap no lookin back
Spaceships dont come equipped with rearview mirrors
They dip as quick as they can
The atmosphere is now ripped
Im so like a Pip, Im glad its night
So the light from the sun would not burn me on my bum
When I shoot the moon high, jump the broom
Like a premie out the womb
My partner yellin "Too soon! Dont do it! Reconsider!Read some litera - ture on the subject
You sure? Fuck itY
ou know we got your back like chiroprac - tic
If that bitch do you dirty we'll wipe her ass out as in detergent"

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjPFz5r8Gfo

THERE'S ONLY ONE AMY

Amy is rumored to be a potential front runner at next years' grammy awards. She's tipped to be nominated for 8 gongs for her brilliant 'Back to Black' album.

They can try to tarnish her talent but the girl is certainly riding high. No Pun intended!

GROWN MEN'S HEROES

Now, I disagree with the concept of only young people need role models. I strongly believe that as you get older, you should admire and mimic certain work ethic, drive and ambition.

My heroes are Roger Federer and Tiger Woods.

Great men, great accomplishments, great work ethics, great principles....should I go on. I will celebrate these men as often as possible. They have left their mark, it's time for us to leave ours - whatever it is.

WE PREFER THE OLD CRAIG....

I saw the new Craig David video for his new single 'Hot Stuff' this morning. Sadly, the song ain't so hot and Craig needs to lay off those steroids. The man has no neck any more. It's like his head is trying to break out of the body.

The song is pretty forgetful although I'm sure by the times the radio leeches get their claws on it, we probably be all humming to it. It's also got a sample of the very familiar 'Let's Dance' by David Bowie recently sampled by Puff Daddy ft. Mase 'Been around the World'

What ever happened to the simplicity of 'Seven days', 'Fill me in' and 'Walking away'?I'm not a music critic but surely the A&R guys at his record label understand this. Everyone is always looking for the 'a new sound', it's all bollocks at the end of the day if one can do something well, get better at doing just that.

TRAGEDY

It brings great discomfort whenever I think of this image and the trails and tribulations of this fallen star. We all recall her remarkable achievements at the 2000 Olympics. We all celebrated her many triumphs, just to think all of that has been rubbished by her admitting to using performance-enhancing drugs. She's handed over all her Olympic medals and winnings.

What she gon' do now? What exactly can she do?

This is just TRAGIC!

TOM FORD - WE SALUTE!

We are big fans of Tom Ford. The one time head of the Gucci Group.

We are big fans of his sunglasses line - perhaps because we can't afford anything else in his LA flagship store.

ALICIA KING

Alicia Keys is Back. Alicia Keys is Back.

No One is on repeat on my MP3. I have read many interviews with the lady in many publications and my conclusion is - she's royalty.

We bow at your talent, your grace, your gift and your approach to your work.

PLASTIC COUPLE OF THE BLACK RACE

They've come a long way. My niece asked if she could have this for Christmas. My response was ..............................

IS THIS A CAREER MOVE?

Help me out here....................

WHAT DOES A GIRL HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME ATTENTION!

Hello World,

As we all know Ms Kelly Rowland was bumping-us-like-this during the summer months. Unfortunately, the rest of her self-titled album hasn't been 'bumping' up the album charts. Sorry, CORRECTION - it has sank without trace. When I was a little younger, we use to have debates on who was our favorite destiny child. I've always stood by my love for Ms. Knowles, which leaves me wondering. Where are all the Ms Rowland fans? I know a lot of people had her back then, mostly women (members of the I hate Beyonce fan club). The reality is, music will override sentiments and quite frankly Ms Kelly just ain't putting out groundbreaking music. Period!

A JOKE 4 NIGERIANS!

A man screwing his housemaid screamed, "You're so sweet". She replied, "Thank you, even houseboy tell me say I sweet pass madam". Oga fainted!

JACK BAUER GOES TO JAIL!

How messed up is this shit? It looks like Jack Bauer-common man's hero-might be hitting the correctional facility. I can't really be bothered with giving the full details of why, what and how. I just can't believe this - this is just as bad as when original Superman, Mr Reeves fell off his horse and became paralyzed for life. There's got to be some kind of insurance protection cover for all action heroes. There's nothing sadder than watching a 'telly' figure fall from grace.

I mean look at Mr. T doing Snickers commercials and my personal favourite - The Hoff drinking himself to the grave! I mean, this ain't right. How can Jack Bauer save the world in 24 hours but somehow forget to save his own a**?

Akon needs to sing about this shizzle!

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS NUDE PHOTO

Could it be the way Tyson Beckford is sitting? or Where Naomi's left foot is? Someone help .....

Oh, by the way it's a promotional campaign for the PZero Nero line of Pirelli tyres. Do you see the correlation cause I don't. Plus why are they wearing shoes?

EATING MUFF! by J.HOLIDAY's Bed

Fellas,

There's a new making 'romance' song on the block. This track is by J.Holiday and may word this track is fetishly seductive. I can guarantee you it will do the trick so that you tongue don't have to work to hard!

She gon' love you after this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=82t_UOMHPJY

The production is simply class. This is how love songs should be made and SANG.

DIRTY & SKANK AS SHE WANNA BE

Don't we just love Lil Kim - post jail, post plastic surgery, post Ray -J!

Remember how nasty and gangsta she looked in her first video:

www.rhapsody.com/lilkim/videos/notime

I mean how hardcore can you get with this verse -

"Yeauhhh, I Momma, Miss Ivana Usually rock the Prada, sometimes Gabbana

Stick you for your cream and your riches

Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches

Puff Daddy pump the Hummer for the summerI follow -- in the E-Class with the goggles

96 models, Bad Click on the stroll(Tell em how we roll)

Cruise control

Nuttin make a woman feel betta than Berrettas and Amarettas, butta leathers and mad cheddaz

Chillin in a Benz with my ami-gos

Tryin to stick a nigga for his pe-sos

If you say so's, then I'm the same chick that you wanna get with, lick up in my twat

Gotta hit the spot, if not don't test the poom poomnanny nanny, punanny donny, heyyy!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! SHE NASTY....but we love it! Reminisce people, reminise!!!

45th at Night with.....

We all remember the blissful moments that MTV Unplugged provided us during the Neo-soul moment. Erykah Badu, The Roots, etc.

Well, my new favourite channel VH1 (nothing to do with my age) has provided us with a substitute. It's called 45th at Night with..... (I'm convinced it's shot at the same studio as Lauryn Hill's 2.0 set) and so far we have seen great collaborations a la Maroon 5 & Kanye and the incredible Ms Winehouse doing a sweet rendition of 'Love is a losing game' with Mos Def.

Keep an eye out people, it's worth tons.....

TRACK OF THE MONTH...WATCH YOUR FEET!

Please watch and listen!

This is Watch my Feet - it is simply legendary!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6vdD5HOSgw

G.I.V.E IT A REST NELLY!

If Nelly Furtado releases another single off her over-celebrated album 'Loose', I will scream. It's a enough!