MONEY MISS ROAD
Rap star TI has been granted bail by a judge in Atlanta, but will be held under house arrest and under a £3m bail bond until the outcome of his forthcoming trial over weapons offences.
THE AMERICAN DREAM!
THE AMERICAN DREAM!
STRICTLY COME....MOONWALKING!
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Someone needs to invite MJ's black ass on Strictly Come Dancing. Wouldn't he be divine? We all know he can do with the extra cash. He can do the Smooth Criminal fall during the Cha Cha.......
SEX TAPE?
How many of us would like to see a Reese and Jake sex tape? It would their greatest work till date.
We wonder if he has the skill for graffiti.......that's a thought!
AMERICAN GANGSTER
As the ultimate Denzel groupie, you know we can't wait for the film of the year 'American Gangster' destined to be a bad ass flick.
It's in cinemas across the country from the 16th November and we can't wait to see the much-praised performances from the Acting Messiah, Mr Washington and our man from down-under, Mr Russell Crowe.
Jay-Z's soundtrack is also in stores in a week and it's gotten great reviews.
Y'all better recognise!
CHRISTMAS BOLLOCKS
So it's ho ho ho ho ho!
Just in case you've been on planet nowhere, it's hard to miss that increasingly growing christmas feeling. From the dazzling lights on Harrods to the overcrowded desperate shoppers on Oxford Street, Christmas is upon us and I can't help that warm sensation.
So what are we all doing this Christmas?
A break-up? An assault? Rekindling unfinished business? F***ing for relevance?
It usually gets pretty ugly around the December months as everyone wants to start the New Year afresh.
So what makes a great Christmas? Is there too much emphasis placed on a day? Do we all indulge purely for the potential gains?
Help me out people!
YEP.......BELIEVE IT!
Okay, so this isn't Perez or Bossip, we don't have photographers waiting outside restaurants waiting for a snappy moment. We are a respectable trash blog. Yep, I said it....respectable!
Isn't this the weirdest pairing in a while. Lance Armstrong clearly done with the over-40s after Sheryl (white trouser-suit) Crow, that he has decided to swap saliva with the very-bohemian barely-legal Ashley Olsen.
Help me out here people!
A NEW CRACKHEAD IN TOWN!
MARTINA HINGIS!
Once upon a time, there was a little untouchable brat called Martina Hingis. She was only 15 when she won her first grand slam and she went on to dominate the world of female tennis for years to come until The Williams Sisters arrived on the scene.
Like any good brat, she struggled to beat the sisters at the power game and decide (like any good bart would) to quit the game and move to a farm in her hometown of Basel, Switzerland where it is rumoured she milked cows on a daily basis..... for fun!
When the cheques stopped coming, she had a brain wave to go back into competitive professional tennis. Not that people gave a shit, she struggled to win a whopping total of 3 tournaments (not grandslams) till date.
So, Martina decide to quit professional tennis yesterday amid suspicion for cocaine consumption (wait for it...............) at the All-England Club during the rainy summer. Ooooh, and she reiterates that she isn't dodging doping tests.
What bloody-ever Martina.....get some f***** direction in your world.
The world is real, deal with it!
ESTELLE: ................
It breaks my heart when a girl has so much talent but yet unmarketable.
The truth is Estelle is a very talented artist but her features/ stage presence just does not correlate with someone that has the potential to sell bucket-loads of records.
Her musical merger with John Legend promised perhaps BIGGER things but after I saw her new video 'JUST A TOUCH' my old fears have resurfaced again.
Her face is just not right!
JA RULE: STOP POPPIN' STEROIDS
Has Ja been working out?
So I saw the new promotional video for his new single 'BODY' - not bad, not bad for the rule-master. We can't know his trademark sing-a-long hooks that has worked well for his collaborations with J-Ho and As-ha-I-can't-sing!
The single will definiately grow on us and that video is sexy. Everything was right - the palette, the women, the body, the texture.
Ja might have finally gotten his shizzle together! Round 2 - 50!
JUST A CASE OF BADDDDDD PR!
We feel for Heather Mills.
The cow just can't seem to do anything right. Just in case you haven't heard about her outburst on GMTV yesterday, the key story is that she's officially nuts.
She compared herself to Kate McCann and Princess Diana - you wish B****!
This week on your beloved blog, it's all about the 'Hustleress' - Foxy, Fergie now Heather. What an esteemed group (Don't you agree!). From a catalogue model, to a disability activist, to a McCartney, to a psycho gold digger.....ooooh, we love her. Someone please give her a medal. She deserves a pat on the back.
Next time she gets another offer to appear on TV (I can see the offers pouring in!). She should be introduced as "...It's Heather, B****!)
You better recognise!
The cow just can't seem to do anything right. Just in case you haven't heard about her outburst on GMTV yesterday, the key story is that she's officially nuts.
She compared herself to Kate McCann and Princess Diana - you wish B****!
This week on your beloved blog, it's all about the 'Hustleress' - Foxy, Fergie now Heather. What an esteemed group (Don't you agree!). From a catalogue model, to a disability activist, to a McCartney, to a psycho gold digger.....ooooh, we love her. Someone please give her a medal. She deserves a pat on the back.
Next time she gets another offer to appear on TV (I can see the offers pouring in!). She should be introduced as "...It's Heather, B****!)
You better recognise!
GARAGE RESURGENCE?
There's a new two-step anthem dominating airwaves and bars across London at the moment. It's T2 ft. JODIE and it's titled 'HEARTBROKEN'
The drum programming just brings back sweet memories of the likes of MJ Cole's 'Crazy Love' and Sweet Female Attitude's 'Flowers'
If you haven't heard it, definiately check it out and let us know if you derived the same warm feeling.
www.bebo.com/FlashBox.jsp?FlashBoxId=4930952451&FlashViewType=TV - Similar pages
The drum programming just brings back sweet memories of the likes of MJ Cole's 'Crazy Love' and Sweet Female Attitude's 'Flowers'
If you haven't heard it, definiately check it out and let us know if you derived the same warm feeling.
www.bebo.com/FlashBox.jsp?FlashBoxId=4930952451&FlashViewType=TV - Similar pages
ADVERT OF THE MONTH: DAIRY MILK
This is simply brilliant. It features a gorilla playing the drums to Phil Collins' classic - 'In the air tonight'
We can't think of a better way to sell chocolates. PERFECTTO!
Enjoy - www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy52yueBX_s
We can't think of a better way to sell chocolates. PERFECTTO!
Enjoy - www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy52yueBX_s
REHAB: THE REMIX
Have you heard the new Amy Winehouse's Rehab Remix?
It's been re-worked by Katy Brand and it's scorching HOT!
You must hear it, click here - http://www.heatworld.com/article.aspx?articleid=2627&title=Watch
CAN'T KNOCK THE HUSTLE
FER-GI-LIOUS KEEPS US ENTERTAINED ALL THE TIME AND WE LOVE HER FOR IT. SHE'S THE BEST MEDIOCRE ARTIST WE HAVE RIGHT NOW AND WE LOVE HER FOR IT!
BRAVO!
WE ARE TIRED OF CRAZY B*****!
What the hell is up with Foxy 'Boogie' Brown? Is she trying to be Naomi? She's in jail as we speak for assaulting an assistant with her blackberry. Few days ago, she was moved into a special section in the prison away from inmates after she got into a brawl with a number of jailbirds.
Since when was acting crazy cool? Since when did going to jail become the norm for female rappers? They might as well grow penises at this stage as this behaviour is simply out-of-this-world and quite frankly pathetic.
What's next, Lil' mama in rehab? Ooooooh....we're going to love that, no more my lipgloss is poppin' crap!
ROLE MODEL: VICKY POLLARD
No but yeah but yeah but yeah no but yeah no but yeah....whatever!
In the town of Darkly Noone resides Vicky Pollard, an incomprehensible girl and the nemesis of many a teacher and social worker. Often heard rambling about "this fing wot you know nuffin about", she stubs out her fags, orders snakebite and pretty much denies ever doing anything wrong. A strange British breed indeed.
Vicky Pollard: Who the Hollyoaks omnibus is that?
Vicky's gang member #1: Chantelle Baker’s gang.
Vicky Pollard: Who or sumthin or nuffin?
Vicky's gang member #2: They live down St.Pauls.
Vicky Pollard: No, but, yeh, but, no, but,, what are they doin' on our patch or sumthin' or nuffin' or sorta like thing coz they is well gonna get beat-ins!
Vicky's gang member #3: Cool it Vicky, they're well hard.
Vicky's gang member #1: Yeerh, they give the Rettinen Sisters a bog wash.
Vicky Pollard: They don't scare me. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm just Vicky Pollard from round the corner from the block. V to the P to the icky to the ollard. Ohmigod. This is well hectic!
Vicky Pollard: Hey you, what you doin' on our patch, you total bunch of mingin' dog bitches! [a dancing match follows, which is ended when Vicky boldly steps up to one of the gang members and and gives her a nipple-cripple]
Vicky Pollard: We is well the best dancers.
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