How you doing?
Yep, yours truly found himself in the hospital for food positioning this week. Last Friday, I cleverly thought the foreign cuisine - Amala and Ogbono soup would be the ideal absorbent for my weekend drink consumption.... fast forward to 6 hours later, I was in a hospital bed with syringes in my left arm, I couldn't hold anything down and I was starving.
The only thing that got me through was my vivid fantasies of a hot bowl of soggy Indomie noodles with two boiled eggs sitting firmly by the side of the bowl. This desperate state of affairs helped in authenticating my high echelon of ghettoness.
So.....I thought how does one truly know if he or she is ghetto? As I had infinite time on my hands (after watching Jenifa Part 1 & 2 – Oscar-worthy!), I scribbled a number of past ‘ghetto-lystics’ antics of recent months.
1.You know you ghetto when everytime you go on holiday, you order rice as a side dish even if not highlighted as part of menu
2.You know you ghetto when you refer to ‘seeing someone’ as ‘toasting’
3.You know you ghetto when you live in London but ask you mum to send home videos or P-Squared’s latest CD
4.You know you ghetto when you walk into a Gucci store and only buy a keyring
5.You know you ghetto when in a rush you get on an Okada but wear sunglasses in hope no one would see your ass
6.You know you ghetto when you call Tomatoes – “Tomati”
7.You know you ghetto when you have Shina Peter’s Afro Juju at the back of your Case Logic
8.You know you ghetto when you start or finish your sentence with ‘you know, az in, i mean....’
9.You know you ghetto when you go to Dubai and visit the Burj Al-Arab - as a tourist
10.You know you ghetto when your name is Bobby Valentino
11.You even more ghetto when you like a song by an artist named Bobby Valentino
My name is Bobo Omotayo – I am G.h.e.t.t.o and this week’s Friday Track is BEEP by Bobby Valentino ft. Ludacris, Lil Wayne & Kim.
.... There is nothing wrong with being Ghetto-lly challenged – embrace that!