TRAGEDY

It brings great discomfort whenever I think of this image and the trails and tribulations of this fallen star. We all recall her remarkable achievements at the 2000 Olympics. We all celebrated her many triumphs, just to think all of that has been rubbished by her admitting to using performance-enhancing drugs. She's handed over all her Olympic medals and winnings.

What she gon' do now? What exactly can she do?

This is just TRAGIC!

TOM FORD - WE SALUTE!

We are big fans of Tom Ford. The one time head of the Gucci Group.

We are big fans of his sunglasses line - perhaps because we can't afford anything else in his LA flagship store.

ALICIA KING

Alicia Keys is Back. Alicia Keys is Back.

No One is on repeat on my MP3. I have read many interviews with the lady in many publications and my conclusion is - she's royalty.

We bow at your talent, your grace, your gift and your approach to your work.

PLASTIC COUPLE OF THE BLACK RACE

They've come a long way. My niece asked if she could have this for Christmas. My response was ..............................

IS THIS A CAREER MOVE?

Help me out here....................

WHAT DOES A GIRL HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME ATTENTION!

Hello World,

As we all know Ms Kelly Rowland was bumping-us-like-this during the summer months. Unfortunately, the rest of her self-titled album hasn't been 'bumping' up the album charts. Sorry, CORRECTION - it has sank without trace. When I was a little younger, we use to have debates on who was our favorite destiny child. I've always stood by my love for Ms. Knowles, which leaves me wondering. Where are all the Ms Rowland fans? I know a lot of people had her back then, mostly women (members of the I hate Beyonce fan club). The reality is, music will override sentiments and quite frankly Ms Kelly just ain't putting out groundbreaking music. Period!

A JOKE 4 NIGERIANS!

A man screwing his housemaid screamed, "You're so sweet". She replied, "Thank you, even houseboy tell me say I sweet pass madam". Oga fainted!

JACK BAUER GOES TO JAIL!

How messed up is this shit? It looks like Jack Bauer-common man's hero-might be hitting the correctional facility. I can't really be bothered with giving the full details of why, what and how. I just can't believe this - this is just as bad as when original Superman, Mr Reeves fell off his horse and became paralyzed for life. There's got to be some kind of insurance protection cover for all action heroes. There's nothing sadder than watching a 'telly' figure fall from grace.

I mean look at Mr. T doing Snickers commercials and my personal favourite - The Hoff drinking himself to the grave! I mean, this ain't right. How can Jack Bauer save the world in 24 hours but somehow forget to save his own a**?

Akon needs to sing about this shizzle!

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS NUDE PHOTO

Could it be the way Tyson Beckford is sitting? or Where Naomi's left foot is? Someone help .....

Oh, by the way it's a promotional campaign for the PZero Nero line of Pirelli tyres. Do you see the correlation cause I don't. Plus why are they wearing shoes?

EATING MUFF! by J.HOLIDAY's Bed

Fellas,

There's a new making 'romance' song on the block. This track is by J.Holiday and may word this track is fetishly seductive. I can guarantee you it will do the trick so that you tongue don't have to work to hard!

She gon' love you after this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=82t_UOMHPJY

The production is simply class. This is how love songs should be made and SANG.

DIRTY & SKANK AS SHE WANNA BE

Don't we just love Lil Kim - post jail, post plastic surgery, post Ray -J!

Remember how nasty and gangsta she looked in her first video:

www.rhapsody.com/lilkim/videos/notime

I mean how hardcore can you get with this verse -

"Yeauhhh, I Momma, Miss Ivana Usually rock the Prada, sometimes Gabbana

Stick you for your cream and your riches

Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches

Puff Daddy pump the Hummer for the summerI follow -- in the E-Class with the goggles

96 models, Bad Click on the stroll(Tell em how we roll)

Cruise control

Nuttin make a woman feel betta than Berrettas and Amarettas, butta leathers and mad cheddaz

Chillin in a Benz with my ami-gos

Tryin to stick a nigga for his pe-sos

If you say so's, then I'm the same chick that you wanna get with, lick up in my twat

Gotta hit the spot, if not don't test the poom poomnanny nanny, punanny donny, heyyy!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! SHE NASTY....but we love it! Reminisce people, reminise!!!

45th at Night with.....

We all remember the blissful moments that MTV Unplugged provided us during the Neo-soul moment. Erykah Badu, The Roots, etc.

Well, my new favourite channel VH1 (nothing to do with my age) has provided us with a substitute. It's called 45th at Night with..... (I'm convinced it's shot at the same studio as Lauryn Hill's 2.0 set) and so far we have seen great collaborations a la Maroon 5 & Kanye and the incredible Ms Winehouse doing a sweet rendition of 'Love is a losing game' with Mos Def.

Keep an eye out people, it's worth tons.....

TRACK OF THE MONTH...WATCH YOUR FEET!

Please watch and listen!

This is Watch my Feet - it is simply legendary!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6vdD5HOSgw

G.I.V.E IT A REST NELLY!

If Nelly Furtado releases another single off her over-celebrated album 'Loose', I will scream. It's a enough!

YOU GOT ISSUES!

A newly released 75cl mineral water has just been launched and it costs £68 (retail price). I'm looking forward to the person who will be drinking this amongst our Caboret friends. I wonder how many bottles of Eva Water we can purchase for this price. Nibikun (one of my more intelligent friends) please do the math for us all.

WHO ACTUALLY WEARS LOUIS VUITTON?

At the recently concluded Paris Fashion week, the press had a filled-day with their several photo-opps. It is not a strange concept to associate front row sits at Fashion shows with celebrities however what was strange was the bucket-full of RAPPERS that were present. Your boy Kanye was there, Pharrell obviously amonsgt many. This drove me to question, who actually wears Louis Vuitton garments and assessories.

T.I and Young Jeezy (yes him!) recently had a louis vuitton themed birthday party in the A.T.L and we all remember the sad Mariah carey video 'Say Something' which was famously shot in the Champs-Ulyees flagship store. So, we ask who actually still cares about the LV monograms on an item of clothing or even better travel luggage. Is it just us? Does Marc jacob actually have to come up with another collection because it doesn't seem like anyone else is paying attention except VB of course?

CHRIS BROWN: A SERIOUS FORCE.....

Does anyone get the feeling that Chris Brown might just become the most important thing in R & B? I have been paying close attention to the 18-year old talents in recent weeks and I must admit, I cannot fault is talent. He just seems to be getting better with every performance, every video, every interview. I mean, did anyone see his VMA's performance or his new promotional video - he sure can perform!

And for once, I'm actually ready to support this talent, we're so sick of Ne-yo pick lips and the rest of the 2-good tracks 'album' R&B artist.

This kid is killing it!

SACK THE DIRECTOR AND STYLIST

Does anyone remember the chubby Cleopatra girls? Remember those three sisters with long braids in ponytails jumping on their beds while they threatened “….Cleopatra’s comin’ atcha….”.
They were the energetic Birmingham based girl group who were rumoured to have being signed to Madonna’s Maverick Label. The group consisted of Cleo the lead singer and her backing singers/dancers older sisters. They had a string of hits from their debut album including their debut single `'Cleopatra's Theme', 'Life Ain't Easy', and 'I Wan't You Back'. They were nominated for a BRIT Award and MOBO Awards. Word also has it that they sold over 300,000 copies of their debut album in the U.S of A.

For a second we thought they were going to mimic the success of the Olsen twins when the signed up to Littlewoods to design their own range of bright and funky clothing and became the first Black British band to have ever featured in their own Covergirl advertisement. Then, like a ghost, they vanished!

Well, last night, in the confides of my home I was forced to pay attention to a music video playing on one of the many brain-rotting music channels on Sky. There was a newly grown-up Cleo (notably the ONLY talented one) rolling and raising her weave back and forth - beyonce style as she winked and teased (well tried to tease me!), she belted out a pretty forgettable new single ‘Feelin’ Like This’. Now we give her kudos for effort, however we couldn’t get past thinking this is a bad bad bad immitation of Amerie’s 1-thing chereography matched with the shimmering-silver mini dresses – oh yes! She did go there.

On the plus side, the song showcases Cleo’s unique and strong vocal ability. Cleo has confirmed, “It’s a song about the dating game. It’s about the feeling of being head over heels for someone but they are not yours yet.” “Feelin’ Like This” is the first single from Cleo’s forth-coming debut solo album and is produced by top producer Marco Rakascan. We wish her luck but I really wish someone could bitch-slap both the director and the stylist for doing an inane imitation of sexy. The last criminals were Mis-teeq, we can't give any more excuses, it's 2007.

Shame on you!

DON'T HATE, IT'S BRIT!

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=1119416166&fr=yvmtf

Okay, so we are endorsing the new Ms Spears single as this year’s SexyBack. I was at a bar last night and when this song came on, a rabble of Chinese ladies went wild to the floor (get low-style!) as they begged us to …..

It’s hot and it’s Britney B*****!

DON'T THROW STONES

A round of applause for Ian Brown; the once relevant front man of the Stone Roses for his random remarks during yesterday’s Q Awards. Besides our shock at the fact he was awarded a ‘Legend’ award. We were even more flabbergasted by his hypocritical remark at the event’s Best Album winner, Amy Winehouse. His blatantly cheap dig at Amy’s widely reported drink problem was a comical and duplicitous slander considering this is the same man famous for his "I saw more drugs in a couple of months in Strangeways than in the whole of the rest of my lifetime" comment.

Mr Brown is no stranger to the law. In 1998, he was sentenced to 4 months in jail for air rage, after threatening a stewardess with airmeal plastic cutlery, offering to cut her hands off on a flight. Not to mention his assault charges during a San fransciso gig in 2005 and we can go on. In less than a decade, he had released five albums including Unfinished Monkey Business (1998), Golden Greats (1999), Music of the Spheres (2001), Solarized (2004); The World is yours (2007). Just in case you’re worried you haven’t heard of any of these ‘critically-acclaimed’ albums – don’t worry, you’re not alone!

We recommend that Ian Brown keeps his tongue in his month.